Escalation and Confrontation: Part Two

Yet another crisis for Cash and Holiff loomed, however, during a tour in the U.K. and Europe in May 1966. After a series of shows in England and Scotland, Cash's entourage was scheduled to fly to Paris for a show that Holiff had painstakingly arranged at the Olympia Theatre, arguably the most prominent international venue that Cash--or any country star for that had matter--had ever played.

As Holiff later recalled in an audio recording, "[t]his was a deal I had worked on for a long time," and it would have been "the first time ever that a country-type act had appeared at the Olympia. . . . The French were sort of aware of Johnny Cash for a couple of reasons," but "[t]his was going to be a significant thing."

Furious, Holiff left the tour, and a letter to Barbara reveals the damaging impact of his ongoing attempt to contend with Cash's unpredictable behaviour, and his increasing enmity toward the situation: "Johnny cancelled the first day in Paris. He didn't show up for the flight. Several TV shows were screwed up - besides a Press Party etc. They went today. I refused to go!!! . . . Spent four hours in Hyde Park today. My nerves were badly in need of recharging. My self-analized [sic] findings - Fear of middle age - jowls - loss of hair - lessening of self esteem, fewer dreams, and ego crushing self effacing deferment to Johnny. The most crushing awareness!! -- ! I'm not a genius - Damn it - God is dead or he would have noticed." 

The fragmented style of this letter is not unusual; Holiff often wrote in a sort of stream-of-consciousness fashion (which he himself thought of as Joycean), especially if he was pressed for time. Nonetheless, the contrast between this style and his more carefully crafted letters, which often included a list of enumerated points for clarity, is striking. It emphasizes an intensifying emotional and psychological turmoil that would define his relationship with Cash until the day he resigned. 

In fact, the point about his "ego crushing self effacing deferment to Johnny" would be a common refrain when he described his time as Cash's manager even after his retirement.

This statement is poignant because it recalls a letter from Holiff to Cash five years earlier, in which he wrote, "[r]ecently when I spoke to you, you mentioned that you were going to Colorado with your father and Merle Travis, and to quote you, you were 'aimin' to breathe air that aint never been breathed before'. I was so intrigued by the thought behind that statement that, while in Toronto, I called the Entertainment Editor of the Toronto Star and he felt as I did, and quoted your remarks in the paper. If you knew what the air is like most of the time in Toronto, you would realize what impact your statement had on those who read it."

The fact that Holiff echoes this letter years later indicates the impact Cash's words had on him, and his point--that he, like Cash five years before, needs to escape a toxic, suffocating environment--resonates more meaningfully in Cash's own language. And whether Cash made the connection or not, Holiff's repetition of these words also evokes the weight of their time working together and gives his announcement a greater gravity.