Glimpses into Chinese Immigration in Canada The New Republic & The World Journal Vancouver Newspapers

小移民成長故事 《系列報導之五》(下)

Chinese--Canada ; Immigrant children--Canada--Social conditions
Chinese--Canada ; Immigrant children--Canada--Social conditions
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Chinese--Canada;Immigrant children--Canada--Social conditions
楊是農 ; Yang, Shinong
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Article from: World Journal(世界日報)
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The Stories of Young Immigrants 《Article Five of a Series of Reports》(Part Three)
Keywords: Loh, Mason ; Zhao, Keshi ; Le, Jiafan
British Columbia--Victoria ; British Columbia--Vancouver ; China--Hong Kong ; Taiwan--Taipei
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British Columbia--Victoria;British Columbia--Vancouver;China--Hong Kong;Taiwan--Taipei
小移民成長故事 《系列報導之五》(下) 父母教育子女 靠自己力量打拚 樂美森早獨立 養成健康人生觀 樂美森的父母親在回顧三個兒子的成長年代時說,十多歲的靑少年往往自以爲心智成熟,其實極爲幼稚,心理狀態極不穩定,他們不僅有學業問題,還有交友、感情等種種複雜的心理問題。對他們來說,家長的輔導和關愛是非常重要的。他們看到一些太空人家庭,做父親的忙於在香港台灣的事業,孩子得不到父愛,父母祇好給信用卡、名車,企圖用物質來塡補精神上的虧欠,有的孩子很快的給人拖進黑社會,這種現象令他們非常的感慨和擔心。 樂太太趙可士在這方面有很深的體會,她說,即使孩子身邊有親朋好友照料也不是辦法,因爲親友一般都很客氣,孩子有錯也不報吿,而孩子是毎年三百六十五天每天廿四小時都需要有人管的,尤其是十多歲的大小孩更是如此。比如,孩子的記憶可變性很大,做了錯事,如果不當時教育,過後就會淡忘,即使以後再罰效果也差了很多。而且如果孩子有錯,當時不指出也不罰的話,以後再說理孩子就不服氣了。這種恆久的管敎任務,不是親朋好友可以替代得了的。 樂美森弟兄三人在維多利亞讀書時,家書寫得很勤,有時一天兩封,除此之外三兄弟還經常錄了音把錄音帶寄給父母聽。美森的父母親看出孩子們雖然學業上無問題,但是深切的感受到他們缺乏父母之愛的無奈,決定放棄事業,全家移居來加拿大。 當時,樂美森的父親樂嘉範先生是美國棉農在東南亞的總代理,生意做的很大。那時也是他們夫婦精力和事業兩旺的年代,正可以爲了發展事業大幹一番, 但是他們爲了孩子們的成長,毅然的放棄了賺更多金錢的機會,決定退出商場,在孩子們來加拿大讀書之後的三個月,一併來溫哥華定居,一同給兒子們作伴。樂先生和太太今日回首這一段往事時說,當時雖然事業很難割捨,但是三個孩子正處於靑少年心智日漸成熟的階段,他們更加需要父母的關愛,俗話說一失足成千古恨,可是大意不得。 爲了有利於孩子們的成長,少受環境的干擾,樂氏夫婦一開始就爲他們選擇了位於偏僻海邊的學校,周末的時間大部分則用各種體育活動來排得滿滿的。 孩子們在國外上學要不要保留母語?樂氏夫婦說非常需要。他們從台北移居香港之後,就規定家裡祇講國語。到了孩子們在維多利亞讀書後,趙可士不斷的給他們寄中文的武俠小說,鼓勵他們在使用英文的同時不忘中文。現在,樂美森有了家庭和孩子。他吿訴筆者,他的家裡也用他父母當年的辦法,家裡不准講英文,結果孩子們跟樂美森講國語,跟媽媽嘉敏講廣東話,樂美森三歲的孩子在幼稚園,還常常的爲不會英文的新移民孩子作翻譯呢。 樂美森的父母還吿訴筆者,他們對孩子的要求並不是有求必應,不像一般富有的家庭,在經濟上對他們是十分吝嗇的。他們努力的敎育孩子,要依靠自己的努力去討生活。在他們未獨立時,父母會給他們一個良好的敎育,但是將來在加拿大社會的謀生和成功則全靠他們自己。他們也盡量的讓子女知道,父母對他們吝嗇,但對他人不吝嗇,有了錢會去幫助人家。看來,樂家父母用自己的模範行動影響子女,的確養成了他們自力更生、樂於助人、健康的人生觀。 本報記者:楊是農 【圖片】: 中僑互助會主希樂美森律師攝於他的律師事務所內。 English translation: The Stories of Young Immigrants 《Article Five of a Series of Reports》(Part Three) Parents Educate Their Children to Work Hard on Their Own Mason Loh [Le Meisen] Became Independent Early and Developed a Healthy Outlook on Life Looking back the growth of their three sons, Mason Loh’s parents said that teenagers often think that they are mature, but in fact they are extremely naive and have unstable mental activity. They have study problems, as well as a variety of complex psychological problems such as making friends and emotional problems. Parental guidance and care are very important to them. They saw some “Tai kong ren” families [families that keep travelling back and forth], whose fathers are busy with their careers in Hong Kong and Taiwan, and their children cannot get fatherly love. Parents have to give them credit cards and famous cars in an attempt to use materials to compensate for their parental deficiencies. Some children were quickly dragged into gangsterdom. This phenomenon has made them sigh with emotion and worry. Mrs. Le, Zhao Keshi, has lots of experience in this respect. She said that it is not a solution even if there are relatives and friends taking care of the child. Relatives and friends are generally very polite, and they won’t even let you know if your child did anything wrong. Children need to be managed 24 hours a day for 365 days, especially for older kids more than ten years old. For example, children's memory is very variable. If [you] don’t educate them right away when they did something wrong, [they] will forget, and the penalty will be less effective afterwards. And if the mistake they made was not pointed out and punished at that time, then they will not be convinced afterwards. This kind of long-term effort cannot be done by relatives and friends. When Mason Loh and his two brothers were studying in Victoria, they wrote lots of letters back home, sometimes up to twice a day. Also, the three brothers often recorded audiotapes and sent them to their parents. Mason’s parents saw that their children had no educational difficulties, but they deeply felt their helplessness of lacking parental love and decided to give up their careers and move their family to Canada. At that time, Mason Loh's father, Mr. Le Jiafan, was the general agent of American cotton farmers in Southeast Asia, and the business was very large. The couple was energetic with prosperous careers. They would do a lot to develop them. But for the sake of their children’s growth, they resolutely gave up the opportunity to make more money and decided to withdraw from the business. Three months after the children came to study in Canada, they came to Vancouver to settle down and live with their sons. Looking back today, Mr. and Mrs. Le said that it was hard to give up their careers. However, their three children werein the process of becoming mature and needed more care and guide from their parents. As the saying goes, a single slip may cause lasting sorrow. They had to be very careful. In order to help their children grow up and be less disturbed by the environment, the Le family chose a school located in a remote seaside town for their children from the beginning, and most of their weekends were filled with various sports activities. Do children need to keep their mother tongue when they go to school abroad? The Les said that it is very necessary. After they moved from Taipei to Hong Kong, they stipulated that they would only speak Mandarin at home. When the children were studying in Victoria, Zhao Keshi often sent them Chinese martial arts novels to encourage them not to forget Chinese while using English. Now, Mason Loh has his family and children. He told to the reporter that his family also uses his parents' method. No English was allowed at home. As a result, the children speak Mandarin with Mason Loh and speak Cantonese with their mother, Jiamin. Mason Loh’s three-year-old child is in preschool and often translates for new immigrant children who cannot speak English. Mason Loh’s parents also told the reporter that unlike an ordinary wealthy family, they would not grant their children whatever they asked. They were frugal with them. They tried hard to educate the children on how to be self-sufficient to make a living. While they were still dependent, their parents would give them a good education, but they still had to depend on themselves to make a living and succeed in Canada when they grew up. They also tried to let their children know that their parents were “stingy” with them but not with others. They would help others when they had money. It seems that the parents have influenced their children with their exemplary actions, and they have developed a self-reliant, helpful, and healthy outlook on life. By Yang Shinong, journalist of World Journal Vancouver [Photo]: Chairman of S.U.C.C.E.S.S., Mason Loh, a lawyer, was photographed in his law firm.